I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
