my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
