Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
