you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
