I got chris browned last night
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
