You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
