Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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