benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
