come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
