You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
