She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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