i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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