Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
