Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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