I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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