This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
