so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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