I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
