Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
