Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize