Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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