I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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