I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
