It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize