Slut skills are useful in every country.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
