She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
