I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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