THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have aggressive nipples.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
