She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
where are my eyebrows?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
