Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
