Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
cat food counts as protein by the way
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
