spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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