I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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