Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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