i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
