Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

I wish you could order shots online.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you

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(516): View more from New York

i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs

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(802): View more from Vermont

Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"

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(937): View more from Ohio

she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.

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(315): View more from New York

So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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(585): View more from New York

Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you

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(239): View more from Florida

I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.

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