also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
