that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
handjob tips. give me some.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize