what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
