no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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