found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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