I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
