If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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