I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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