so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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