I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
