why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
