Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize