You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
