At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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