I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
