I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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