like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
