im having a threesome with these popsicles
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
