Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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