My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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