love makes seman taste better
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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