Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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